Posted by: jeffra | March 11, 2010

Less time…

This post is just about me venting. I truly love the work I do and the clients I work with daily. County bureaucracy and fiscal cuts have just tied our hands so many times, it’s a wonder clients still find us helpful. I am grateful for my employment, so understand this is me getting my thoughts down on paper as I process this new role I find myself in.

Is it possible that I have even less time now…less time at work to make up for my lack of time at home to get the little things done I used to? What I wasn’t able to get done at home because business’ were closed or McKenna is too needy, I was squeezing in at work between clients…now that has become a challenge. Scheduling dog grooming and car repairs and hair appointments and activities was once a reality, making me feel like whatever I had dropped at home I could pick up here and there at work. It’s not looking like that will happen much now, and I feel even more squeezed for time. Up until now, I was  assigned two roles at work, as I am now…only one role has changed, significantly. My primary role is responding to Emergency Rooms when they call and need a psychiatric assessment on someone who has been placed on an involuntary hold due to being a danger to themselves, others and/or is gravely disabled (unable to provide food, clothing, shelter due to a mental illness). We don’t get called too often for this task, as most of the hospitals have their own internal system for managing these clients. In between these calls, I was scheduled to see 3 people for a mental health assessment and determine a treatment plan and linkages to services. This was Great…I had  structure and knew where I could plug in some calls when I needed to. Monday, that all changed. While I still will respond to the ER’s , I now have been assigned to handle all the walk-in’s and triage them out, determining what resources they need, addressing crisis situations and scheduling assessments. This is all stuff I am good at, some might say great at, but herein lies the rub…the lobby is ALWAYS full! So no matter how hard, diligent and fast I work, I can never finish. It would be nice to see the reward of an empty basket sometime to feel a sense of accomplishment, catch my breath and maybe build in some down time like other staff find time for, even minimally. I find myself racing, racing through paperwork, racing through lunch, etc. This is supposed to be a role I am assigned to solo, but that is not a viable reality. We are swamped daily and there is no way one person, alone, can see everyone. Most days when I leave there are at least 4 more people to be seen and 90 minutes left in the work day. Fortunately, I work with some great ladies who all pitch in and help.

I guess my frustration is that not only can I not find time to fit in my calls anymore, I can’t even finish my duties each day because the task is impractical. I enjoy feeling a sense of accomplishment, it is important to me and for the people I actually see, I can do that. There is just something about that never empty basket that is eating at me and makes me feel like I am unable to meet this challenge. At home, I now have less time for twitter and following my blog roll, but that just seems to be about other things taking precedence. I feel completely disconnected, even though it is for good reason. But really, who am I kidding…if I could just find the time to get my calls in, I think I could be ok with never seeing the bottom of the basket, although missing out on my online buddies will never sit well with me! It is just one of the many areas in my life that I find myself “settling” in since having my wonderful child. Hopefully, I will figure out my new balancing act, soon!


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