Posted by: jeffra | January 30, 2010

Wife Fail…

It is normal and healthy for couples to disagree and even argue a bit. I have been in these relationships, but with Mark, it is different. It really doesn’t happen very often, like maybe once every 6 months, maybe once every 2 months if you want to count a small irritation that is only worthy of an eye roll. Needless to say, we are very fortunate, Very fortunate…and to think a computer matched us! EHarmony matched us back in October 2003. There is something intrinsically wrong with a computer matching a couple better than they could have matched themselves on their own, but that is a story for another day. There are certain things, though, that I know will piss him off…he is like a kettle, slow to warm, but when he finally has had enough, he may throw his cap on the ground (happened once) or may raise his voice (rare) or generally just shake his head and go off by himself to stew or sleep it off. These things involve having poor judgment with our kid, like when I left the den door open and she fell over on her head in her walker…GUILTY! no getting out of that one or the time I got identity fraud cuz I used the blue mailbox on the side of the road (how was I to blame for being the victim, hello) or the most recent time that I, uh, washed his leather wallet and all it’s innards….oh yeah and then dried it. I kept wondering why all this paper was in there…and then I saw it, the wallet, SHIT! with all his coveted receipts, for what I don’t know, and phone numbers to art studios, and medical cards and many other things, that if you ask me, should be kept somewhere safe, not in your wallet. It could get stolen, for pete sakes, or your wife could wash it. So, I proceeded to finish the laundry, judging his current mood to determine when might be a good time to broach the subject. I opted to just lob it out there, while he was working on the computer. He looked at me and said “What….damn it!” I told him I saved what I could and it was in the kitchen. He was not happy and started citing all the things he lost and how I had ruined the pictures of myself, McKenna, his nephew and parents (his father is deceased now so not a good pic. to ruin). I offered to try to replace them….then it came…he said “why didn’t you check my pockets?”, I told him I did…a cursory check, he has like a million pockets in those shorts that he has 4 pair of and the weight of the shorts seemed right, so I threw them in. Then I had to say “how many times have I asked you to take your wallet, keys, change, important shit OUT OF YOUR POCKETS like a normal person when you discard them on the floor, or preferably in the basket like I have asked a million times. Of course he thought I was failing to accept the appropriate blame and didn’t like that I was joining him in part responsibility for this wallet fiasco. But really, don’t you think this happened because we both failed in part? And really, why AM I doing his laundry for him, if he doesn’t like it, he can dump his own pockets and wash them himself. Anyway, guarantee I will be checking in the future….hoping that was our only dispute for the next 6 months. I leave you with what I captured as the remnants of his wallet….oh, and isn’t my glamour shot hot!? Also, notice our goal sheet survived…in the long run that is all that matters right, making it to the next goal, together..with awesome wallet stories to tell and listening to Mark open his handy back-up vacation wallet instead! What a nerd…he loves reminding me everytime I hear it rrrriiiiiippppp!



  1. I loooove the glamour shot!

    • Thanks…and to think I thought I could lose a few then…ugh!

  2. GAH! That SUCKS! My hubs has taken over 98% of the laundry in this house.
    Thank. God.

    • how the hell did you manage that? What did you promise in return?!

      • Baby #2 was pretty grumpy & hard to figure out how to take care of – add in a 14 month old already needing our attention…He quickly learned to do anything and everything he could so that I could concentrate on the baby and only the baby…somehow – I never took back the chores he learned to do..vacuuming, laundry and dishes!
        Yay me!

  3. well now the pic of his parents looks kinda vintage …if that helps soften the blow at all.

    oh Jeffra, knowing you, i’m sure you are very sorry and from it sounds like, Mark will get over it soon 🙂

    and ……..i know of a few couples that met off eHarmony and got married. makes a girl think that maybe ………

  4. LOL! The very first time I did Matt’s laundry, I turned everything pink. I was devastated because I was so excited to do my fiance’s laundry for the first time and I messed it up. But in the end, it worked to my benefit since he started doing his own laundry after that. 😉

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